Note to Self

When I attended a silence course a few months back, one of the activities required us to write five things that we wished to change about our-self. Here are the five things I wrote down. Still not quite doing these things, but well, always trying.. a bit everyday.. :)

Accept Change

Surrender

Be Lighter in Everyday Life

Realize that I am Insignificant

Smile More

Luffy - Oil on Canvas - 12" x 17"
He is a character from an anime called One Piece. Very inspirational. He follows everyone of those things I mentioned above. At least from my point of view!

Cheers!

Night Sky

Oh life! What is it that you want from me?

What is it that I must do to keep myself satisfied?

How do I retain that sparkle and life in my eye?

Is keeping myself occupied the only way?

Why am I so astray from myself?

Where is that connectedness I once felt (of sorts), with existence?

Why do small things in daily life bother me so much?

Why can't I just be?!

There is light within me, I know. Also the path to attain it, I have been granted. Why is it that I can't follow it with dedication? Just like a night sky... there is a moon, to guide me with a bright light... yet it seems that all I see off late is just the darkness around it... shadows and dark trees... Oh please! Let the sun shine again!

Night Sky - 9" x 12" - Oil pastel sticks on paper

उसके हाँथ

इन्ही हाँथों ने संभाला जब जन्मा ही था, 

इन्ही हाँथों ने चलना सिखाया। 

सदा होंसला दिया इन्ही हाँथों ने,

गले से लगाया इन्ही हाँथों ने, जब आँसू बहे आँखों से।

प्यार से पुचकारा इन्ही हाँथों ने, 

बिनबोले सहलाया दर्दों को, इन्ही हाँथों ने।

इन्ही हाँथों ने मंज़िल की ओर इशारा कर, तारों तक पहोंचना सिखाया, 

तालिओं की गूँज भी फिर, इन्ही हाँथों ने की, मंज़िल पाने पर। 

आज ये हाँथ, हैं रूखे-सूखे और बेजान, 

सालों की मेहेनत ने किया है, हाल बुरा इन हाँथों का।

झूरियाँ दे रही है गवाही, इन हाँथों की लम्बी उम्र की, 

बारी है मेरी, अब प्यार से सेहेलाने की, इन हाँथों को। 

क्योंकी, यही हैं वे हाँथ जिनकी वजह से हूँ, मैं आज।

Still working on this piece, but couldn't wait to share it :)

"Hard Working, Long Lived" - 18" x 24" - Oil on Canvas
(Completed Version)

Dedicated to my mom and grand-mom.

Seasons and Life

I die… Just to be born again…

A breath, inwards,

Nourishing, green,

A bud, tender and fragile

Change in season,

Youth, like spring

Fresh and joyful

Such is the state

Come summer,

Sun shines, hot and humid

Draining long hours

Eased by the rain

Fall! Oh Fall!

The end of it all!

Colors change,

Red, yellow and orange

And the cycle ends

Only to start again,

I die, just to be born again…

Took this picture at the Pine Creek Gorge, PA this Fall. (Great place to go with family and friends!!)
And it inspired me to write about seasons! Go figure! :)

A much needed retreat!

It’s intriguing to observe the ways of nature, isn’t it? For the past few weeks I had been feeling a bit aloof and disconnected from myself. Just change in life style was the cause, I am guessing. Then, almost out of nowhere, an acquaintance calls in, to check in on me and informs me of this upcoming course in silence meditation.

BAAM! BINGO!

Didn’t even take me 24 hours to decide and register for the course! In the past I have always dwelled over whether to do it or not to etc. This time, it was almost like a ‘calling’. This came just at the right time. So anyway, this past weekend was when I went for this Art of Silence course organized by The Art of Living Foundation. From Thursday 7pm to Sunday 4pm – remaining silent from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon – all we did was meditate, do some yoga, some breathing exercises and a few group activities.  These techniques are so powerful! Each time I get connected with it, I get rejuvenated, revitalized and re-energized! After the course I felt so much lighter and was smiling so much more than the past few weeks. Brilliant stuff! Now all I need to do is continue practicing meditation at home.

This is how I felt after the fact...

PS – I did do it today at home! Fingers crossed for the future! Haha J

"What does music mean to you?"

A friend asked me this question a few weeks back and ever since I have been thinking about it. What does music mean to me? At that time I told him it means 'energy'. Which is true, but after some thought, it means a lot more than energy to me.

Music...

is a friend when in need

be it day or night, in health or illness,

sadness and happiness,

emotions of all kind

Music...

is a source of calmness,

energy and revitalization

after a long day,

or just for relaxation

Music...

is to let go,

for a while, get lost, get immersed

feel the vibrations of sound

within you, and rejoice!

Music...

is to party

with friends, family or strangers

move to different beats

and so many moves for so many beats!

Music...

is every sound in nature!

listen! carefully...

from rustling of leaves

to falling of snow and rain or hail

the wind blowing...

angry and violent

or calm like a whisper

on a cold night or breezy beach

river flowing... over rocks or sand or over cliffs

Music... to me

is a constantly changing form

a friend, source of relaxation, medium to let go, ingredient to party and synonymous with nature!

And probably much more, which I might add when I think of more, or learn more...

Oh! Not to forget, my paintings are mostly done in one of the above mentioned state of minds, to which music is always playing in the background!

So what does music mean to YOU?!

A Full Time Employee

Time really does fly! It has been a full month since I started working 8 hours a day, every day, every week plus an hour’s commute to and from work each way. That’s 10 hours of my day, 7am to 6pm – add another hour or so for miscellaneous stuff that comes along with the whole ordeal. So now I have 5 or so hours remaining after getting home. Two of which is usually spent cooking, eating and hanging with housemates. With the final three hours, I waste half of it watching TV shows. Such a routine life, after having almost no regular (almost over the place) schedule for the past five years!

Do I like it? – Well I guess its better in some ways than college; advantages and disadvantages as always. I do earn – which is awesome!

Do I hate it? – Not so far! (Fingers crossed for future)

Do I want to do this my entire life? – HELL NO!

What do I really want to do with my life? – No real idea, just imagination running wild for now.

How do I spend my weekends? – Ideally, by immersing myself in drawing/painting.

What’s stopping me from doing that? – No idea!

Oh! Almost forgot – I need to buy a car soon. Technically, I should be excited about this. But it just seems like a lot of burden/responsibility/liability to own a car. On top of that, I would like to buy a car of my choice – Mini Cooper!! To this end, I must save for a few months for it to materialize. Maybe I should just do that and stop complaining about it all the time. Or I could just buy a regular old sedan and voila!

Anyway, it’s amazing how things change right after graduation and then soon after a full time job. All the things listed above were least of my worries (for the most part) during college years. Sigh, I guess I am a grown up ‘young’ adult after all…