Connection

There are so many forms of connection
Physical, emotional, verbal, or just one's presence
Our cells, even at nanoscale level, know this phenomenon.
Without a connection, there is no communication
Without communication, there is no action
Without an action, there is no moving forward.

An abstract version of nanotubes connecting human B cells (Inspired from an actual EM image) - Acrylics on paper - 9" x 12"

On this sacred day, we are all connected by faith and festivity. Just by being, wherever we are in this big wide world, we are connected. I hope each one of us has had a wonderful day with friends, family and loved ones. May all your days be filled with much joy and happiness. Merry Christmas!

Light and Night

All alone, in this dark night

O lord! Shine some light!

Let an angel come to me,

Like my mom, who will hug me.

Today is bright and light,

But who do I share with, this sight?

Let me meet a companion, a friend

Journey then we shall, till the end!

Impermanence

Impermanent, are friends

They come and go

Some stay longer than others

No one but your shadow,

Stays, from start to finish 

Impermanent, is love

Falling in and out of love

Arduous yet beautiful, 

Is the journey of love

Total trust is the basis of love 

Impermanent, are emotions

Anger, delight, annoyance, 

Envy, pleasure, satisfaction, pain,

How long do they last?

Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Years

So what is 'permanent'?

You! (But who are you?)

Unexpected Phone Call

Its a weekend again, and I am down with fever, cough and a ton of phlegm stuck up my nose!! (Sorry does that sound too gross? :P) On top of which I have a presentation due on Monday, a midterm on Tuesday, an assignment due on Wednesday and a proposal due on Thursday!. I also had work lined up on Sunday, which I cancelled. (Phew!) In the midst of all this I get a phone call late last night, almost asleep, whining in my misery, from an aunt of mine.

I have been in the US for 4 years and she has called me twice, maybe thrice, all in the past 6 to 7 months. We were never close as such. There is a generation gap to consider as well. But something changed earlier this year. I did something which generated a common interest between the two of us. She could connect with me despite the age factor and vice-versa. I took a course in Vipassana. My aunt has been an avid follower and practitioner since decades!

So anyway, she called. I didn't recognize her voice right away, but when I did I was so pleasantly surprised! (Such a simple gesture such as picking up the phone and calling someone can a profound effect on that someone... ) Talked about the usual, how are you? etc. Told her about my stuffy nose. She told me take care. Blah blah. Then she asked about my meditation practice and I felt a bit guilty for not being consistent with my practice. But she didn't seem to care much about it. She told me just keep doing it whenever I feel like it or have the time for it. Every time she talks to me, I can *feel* her positive energy flow into me! Literally!

She also informed me about another family member who recently did the course as well and how thrilled she was. She gave me credit to having "re-initiated" the desire to take such a course, within our family/friends. How sweet is that? Needless to say, I am elated for my other aunt who just completed the course. There will be some exciting conversations next time I meet her!

All in all, I felt light after talking to my aunt and slept relatively well despite my health. I want to thank her for just calling me, out of the blue, and blessing me all the time, and for all the positive-ness she radiates from within her! :)

Sculpted Woman

Sculpted woman of the 16th century India - "knowing love I will allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and take everything that comes with great courage...Kama Sutra by Mira Niar" - Charcoal and Graphite

I drew this sketch from the movie Kama Sutra by Mira Nair. I could relate to the sculptor when he says 'something is not right' or 'she doesn't feel right' after I drew this. Eventually he got it right, but this is all that I could manage. She still didn't feel right, but I gave up. :)

Sculpting is getting very close to your art work I think. Both painting/sketching and sculpting use hands (among most art forms and creative work) and the beauty of it all lies in how we translate what we see using our hands! 

The movie truly is a remarkable love story, very enticing! What really caught my eye was the protagonist (Indira Varma) and her saree. Really redefines how you look at saree. Varma carries herself so well in the movie, so elegant, almost floating in the costumes designed for this movie. Some scenes are so raw and others so ornate. 

This one up here is a screen shot a took during the movie. The saree is so simple but I think she looks gorgeous! This is the rawness I was talking about. Beautiful cinematography too! The picture below is ornate in comparison. Although not the best picture to describe what I mean, its the only screen shot I have, that comes close to what I am trying to say.

Yet another example is provided by a picture below where I think she is full of "hidden power". It kind of relates back to what I was talking about in my other post 'Eyes'. Although here the red spot on her forehead represent a sacred mark for love. Her lover dies and she has tried to erase the mark in this particular screen shot. Notice also the hair and the color of her saree. Everything is symbolic. Yet again, the saree just stand out for me. Simply beautiful!

At this point in the movie is when she says, "knowing love I will allow all things to come and go, to be as supple as the wind and take everything that comes with great courage..." Love literally and metaphorically sculpted this woman; this is probably true for most, if not all women even in real life.

The Why's

It is a weekend and I am sitting at home, just relaxing; procrastinating for the most part. A lot of thinking, obviously. Random things cross my mind, from future plans to what happened years ago. Most importantly about now and my reactions to certain things and people. It is very interesting to observe yourself isn't it? But hard to admit it to others when asked the same question(s). I keep convincing myself that I can be alone for the most part and I am successful at it too (I think). But there are times when I wonder why? At some other instances I know the answer too, which is hard to put in words. Bare in mind being alone does not equate to being lonely...

Another thing I can never figure out is what I want from my life. What am I doing? Seriously, I mean where am I headed, what is the goal if any? Why just keep doing 'things'? Keeping yourself busy sure does pass time quickly, rather extremely swiftly! But if you stop and not do anything then it becomes increasingly difficult to while away time. So is that a good enough reason to keep yourself busy all the time? Just to pass time quickly? Seems very quantitative. Whatever happened to quality of life. However, if I do keep some time aside for 'nothingness' what do I do? Should doing something be that important?

Meditation seems to be the ultimate answer to things, a way out from daily rut. But why do I just keep talking about it like some "oh-so-know-it-all-person" and not actually meditate a bit everyday? Is the busy, hectic, engaging, time consuming, exhausting college life a good enough excuse? Besides, an excuse for what? Its not an assignment I need to submit to someone that I need to give an excuse (authentic or not). Its for my sake that I want to do this. So technically I should "make" time for this priority. Does everyone think like this, for whatever priority they might have? Why is the human brain so amazingly complex?

I think I am just writing non-sense. So I will stop. It felt good to type some crap anyway. :)

Sun Salutation

As the sun sets

My heart jumps with joy

What a sight!

Such beauty, magnificence!

Colors in the sky

Magenta, blue, orange and red

The sea calls out to the sun

"Come rest within me

Lets go home now"

I stand there admiring
Thinking I'll see you again tomorrow

For now, accept my salutations

Bless us all

With your radiance

Far and wide!

Sun Salutation - Pastels

Eyes

The only part of our brain that is visible 

One of the five senses we possess 

On which we rely far too much 

A gateway to our 'exterior' and 'interior' worlds 

Shutting our eyes is the most effective way to isolate our-selves 

Gives 'life' to paintings/inanimate objects 

Conveys our feelings and emotions so much better than words 

Phenotypic variations (of the retina) making it so unique 

"Windows to our soul"

'A Woman Looking Within' - Pastels

Closed eyes signify passive aggressive state of this woman. A woman goes through a lot in her life time, yet conceals it all within herself. Seldom does she "open her eye" to let out her wrath. When she does its like a burning fire, red and hot! A 'bindi' on her forehead signifies a third eye and represents the danger she might bring forth to her enemies. In this painting she looks very meditative trying to find herself. Equanimity is her virtue. 

Curly hair, out of this world color (skin) tone, some sort of innocence makes me want to keep looking at her. She is my inspiration to look within and find equanimity myself.   

Let go

Let go... Let yourself free... Let the energy flow...
Pastel and Charcoal

Letting go of our attachments, fears, emotions, bondage and our selves is an arduous task. It is the only way to be "free". If you think about it, letting go should be the easiest thing to do right? Its like dropping something - an object should just fall if you 'let go'. It should be the same with our perceptions of self too. Ironic.

After I completed this painting of Ganesha, free spirited flow of energy was the only thing I could think of. The fast strokes of lines giving him form, seems to be bursting with life! There is a sense of wholeness even though the lines don't completely meet. I have tried to create some highlights and core shadows to facilitate some depth and form.

Your Absence...

Trying to imagine what my grand-mother must be feeling. I really wish I was there. Sigh! Time shall heal her, but till then what is she to do? What do I tell her? To be strong... this too shall pass... remind her about life's cycle... tell her to get involved with other things to distract her... From what I see, it doesn't help her. She's been hearing that from everyone else already. What do I tell her when she just can't help but remember her husband in everything we converse about? Don't we know since an early enough age that we will perish? Why then is it so hard for us to 'deal' with it, when the time does come?

It hurts whichever way you look at it. Love is all I have for you mamma. I hope you can sense it despite the distance and empty words.

Your absence 

so sudden, so abrupt, so unjust...

Your absence stings

worse than a bee

Your absence creates

a hole in my soul

Void, is all I see...

Silence, is all I hear...

Memories, is all I touch...

Bitterness, is all I taste...

Your absence, is all I smell...

Passage

"Mixed Media", I call it since I plan to post a variety of content in this blog. Some post may quite literally have art work containing mixed media! On my journey to becoming a professional artist one day, I want to post some of the paintings I do too.

However, I want to dedicate my first post to my grand-father followed by my grand-mother. My grand-father recently passed away and this is what I had to say to him. (This post is in Hindi.)

दादाजी... प्यार से दादू... 

आज आप हमारे बीच नही हैं, पर आप हमेशा मेरे दिल में रहेंगे |

कितनी बातें हैं जो में आपके साथ करना चाहता हूँ |

ज़िंदगी के कितने पल हैं, जो अभी आए भी नही, मैं आपके साथ बाँटना चाहता हूँ |

अफ़सोस सिर्फ़ इस बात का है कि मे आपके करीब न था उस आखरी वक्त पर...

आप हमेशा मेरे आदर्श रहे हैं और रहेंगे, पहेले गुरु और शिक्षक भी आप ही थे |

आपके अनुभवों से हम सभी ने बहुत कुछ हाँसिल किया है |

आप जैसा शांत मन और साफ दिल शायद ही किसी का हो सकता है |

बड़ों और छोटों को आपने हमेशा आदरसमान समझा |

कितनी बातें हैं जो में आपके बारे में जानता तक नहीं |

हमेशा सोचते ही रह गये कि "इन बातों को और कभी करेंगे" |

जाते जाते भी आप मुझे सिखा गये कि जिंदगी का कोई भरोसा नही |

आज ही है सिर्फ़ | इसे जी लेना चाहिए पूरी तरह...

आशा है आप जहाँ भी हैं इस समय, कुशलपूर्वक हैं |

आपसे कभी कह न सका, पर यहीं कह देता हूँ आज...

"बहुत बहुत सादर धन्यवाद सभी चिसों के लिए दादू!"

आप हमेशा मेरे दिल में और यादों में रहेंगे...

आपका प्यारा पोता...

साकेत